Death to the rat

I have dealt with the rat..the evil dirty rat that thought that it would be auk to move in with me and share my food and even my bed! Here in Nigeria...rats seem to be a different breed and sometimes are difficult to catch, but luckily this rat was only a baby still. Actually there are advantages and disadvantages of small rats. (Not that there are really any true advantages...but when trying to make a bad situation look better, I looked for advantages.) Here are the advantages vs. disadvantages...compared to a large rat.

Small Rats 

Disadvantages

1. They are too quick to catch

2. They can squeeze into a hole 1/4 the size of their body

3. They aren't detected as quickly

Advantages

1. They don't wreak as many things as big rats

2. They have small poop

3. They don't look quite as disgusting

So I went to the little store near my house and bought some rat gum (gum here refers to glue) and it was just a piece of plastic basically with glue all over it so that when the rat steps onto it, it becomes stuck. The girls selling it were telling me that Naija rats were different and were hoping that this type of rat gum would work and I assured them that I would let them know and thought it would since it was just a baby rat. 

As I got home, I immediately opened the rat gum and set it up behind my garbage. I admit, that I kept checking the rat gum every 10 min or so just to see if I had caught the rat...but no luck. Soon though, I saw something suck on the gum...but it wasn't the rat, it was my little gecko friend who has been in my house since I moved in and it's so tiny that I love seeing it and seeing if I can hold it. I felt terrible..how could I kill my gecko? I picked the gum up and tried to peel the gecko off but it was completely stuck and if I kept pulling I was going to rip its body and limbs apart. 

Being the genius that I am, I poured some liquid soap around its body and limbs and let it sit for a while. After a few minutes I put ran some water over the soap and again tried to peel its body off...and phew...it worked. My friend was so scared that once I had him off he just sat on my hand...his little heart beating furiously and didn't move for a while. I thought that maybe I would keep it...and did for a day in a jar, but I just couldn't keep it in a small prison and released it in my home to roam free. 

So after being bummed that I didn't catch anything I went to bed and was laying there almost asleep when I heard some rustling coming from the kitchen and some high pitched squealing...and I KNEW I had caught the bugger! I crept into the kitchen and sure enough, the rat lay there on the gum and as soon as it saw me...it only tried to get away, but doing that only allowed for its body to become more stuck to the gum. I took a broom and was about to bash it and end its miserable life when it just stopped moving and looked at me..its little heart beating so fast, and gave a little whimper. I just couldn't do it...I actually felt bad for the little creature...so instead I just covered it with an empty container that I was throwing out and walked away hoping it might somehow be dead in the morning. 

It wasn't dead...and as soon as I peeked...it just struggled again. So on my way out to work I took it down to the gate man and walked away as he bashed it to death...but as I left, I didn't feel bad...I felt good that I had my house back!

Now...so that I don't get anymore unwanted guests, I am going to put rat gum in various places around my house...No rat can ever mess with me again...I have come to far for that...so rats...you better beware!!!

My home intruder

Bad memories are flooding my mind as I sit here writing this. I think my heart is still beating at an usually quick pace and i can't seem to relax. Every few seconds I stop to look around my surroundings and to look for any type of movement...but for now I don't see any. I am sitting in my room, on my bed and this is now day 3 of catching glimpses or rather more like close encounters of a very uninvited, hated, disgusting intruder. A baby rat has entered my humble abode and I am now being reminded of last year when I was staying with Jude and the baby rats that would crawl on me while i slept and I would jump awake, heart beating so fast as if it were going to burst out of my chest. The baby rats are small and seem almost like mice...but they are clearly NOT mice if you see them. they have the pointy faces and long tails and have longer bodies that are dark. Some can be so small that you may think it was a big cockroach...but nope, if you've ever had a baby rat crawl on you while you sleep and you wake up...you can clearly feel that it is NOT a cockroach or any type of bug...because you can feel the fur...so they are definitely rats...and they really are not scared like they should be. This is the third time that this rat has come close to me. The first day it ran past me in my parlour and i exclaimed very loudly "AH AH!" which is a very Nigerian expression almost to say "NO!!" or "NO WAY" So I tried to chase it...(I no longer really run away, because now I just want to try and be brave and kill the damn thing!) Then while I was doing the dishes last night, it ran past my feet...literally less than an inch away and I jumped back, feeling as if I was having a heart attack! Then today...the worst one of all..as I was sitting on my bed i see out of the corner of my eye something moving...and towards me...and as I look the rat and I make eye contact and I jump up and it seems to disappear into my dirty clothes pile. So I grab a hanger and pry around picking up each article of clothing with the hook of the hanger and shaking it violently....but nothing was there. I then moved onto my dresser and realized that behind it there is a space which the rat can go underneath the dresser...so I take my flash light and I am shining it and see nothing...then I move the dresser and peak again. My heart stops and the light flashes on the nasty beast and it looks up at me frozen and then darts off. I swear that as I watched it dart off that it entered my purse. (This is the part where I have to sensor...because like a crazy person, I began to shout and threaten and swear at the rat....

AHHH...sorry this must be put in NOW! As I was writing just now I saw the rat try to make a run for it from behind my big dresser and immediately I yelled in fear as my heart again jumped. It has run back to its hiding place...AHHHH!!!...Why am I being tortured!

ok...so back to my story..the rat obviously didn't enter my purse and I am sure you can all imagine me trying to pick up my purse to shake it out and holding it far from my body while standing on my tip toes...ready to jump or run at any moment...and I am sure I look like a fool...but who wouldn't! I went to my neighbours and since the places that sell these rat gums are closed (it is like a rat trap that they get stuck to...the bottom is like glue and they die there) they came and we all were banging things around and trying to find and destroy this intruder. But since these rats are small and quick and can somehow squeeze there body thru a space the size of a penny or less...they hide so well. Even now, I don't know how it is hiding behind my big dresser as there is no space underneath it unless it can squeeze between the carpet and the wood! So now here I am...and until this thing leaves my room...I won't sleep well...so i am going to again...scatter my room to find this rat and if i get it cornered...I am going to kill it and bash it until i know I've gotten my revenge!!! stay tuned!!!

Fuel Scarcity

This last month in Lagos has been a little crazy for everyone.  For some reason there is a fuel scarcity...meaning that only a certain amount of petrol is available to the public...or rather only a certain amount of petrol is being sold in a day and the rest is being held. Since here in Nigeria, power is not a consistent or constant thing...and even available to some, generators are commonly used everywhere. When I say everywhere, I mean everywhere. If you have a small business you use a generator (ex: places on the side of the road that sell food/beverages that may need to stay cool, or a business where they fix tires or shoes or metal works etc. (anything that may need to be plugged in basically) and small gens are used to power all of these things when there is no light/NEPA and most of these run on petrol. Some generators, like my own and big big ones, usually run on diesel, so I am lucky that way in the sense of not having to have someone queue for my petrol or have none at all. But this fuel thing is affecting everyone. I am not even quite sure what exactly it is about, but what I hear on the news is that there are pricing issues between the government and the oil companies, so fuel is being rationed each day. No one really knows the real reasons as one day you hear that there won't be scarcities, and then the next day they say there will be scarcity of fuel for another 2 weeks....so no one knows when it will end. It affects our school in the sense of not being able to have light some days if the bus drivers don't get fuel that day. (The drivers usually go and pick all the busing kids up, come to school and go straight to queue for fuel and some days don't come back until its close to closing time for the day) It affects my job because on Tuesdays and Thursdays I am supposed to go and teach art at the other Abbey school branch in KETU (Ketu is the area) but for the last month I have only been able to come a few times, and sometimes i have come late due to waiting until we get fuel to drive there. If there is no fuel at the KETU branch, I can't really go either because I don't have a ride back. So in the end, it really is messing up the lessons that I wanted to get done and now I am having to change things. Hopefully soon, this will end...but all I have to say is, with some things in life...we just take it for granted and you don't realize how blessed we are sometimes until something that may seem little and unsubstantial in everyday life, is taken away or made scarce...that's when you really know how much we rely on some things more than we think! Just some thoughts for everyone to take a minute to think about all the little things in life we are used to...and to appreciate that we can obtain those easily most of the time. Well, until next time...i am out!

Being Detained...

Well its official...I am now a hardcore Lagos chic....for I was detained by lasman (they are road safety officials who really can cheat the law and rules but still fine or detain you!...NAIJA!) 

So the stories goes like this....I was on my way to KETU (the other branch of the ABBEY SCHOOLS that I teach at and was being driven by one of the bus drivers from the GRA branch (confused yet?) Anyway, we followed the way we usually do and suddenly the bus stopped and a man (not dressed in any lasman uniform) is standing in front of the bus. The bus driver steps out (for all you Nigerians..you all know this is a bad move) and didn't lock the doors behind him. So then the man comes and jumps in the from seat of the bus (as I always sit in the back) and then my driver jumps in and I can tell that they are arguing...but in Yoruba, so of course I can't understand. So I jump in the conversation since I start to feel annoyed and pissed b/c I am thinking its some area boy or something...and say "excuse me...can you tell me what is going on here?" So he tells me that we went down a one way and we have to pay a fine and has to take us in to pay it. 

Now, since we have followed this road every time we come to KETU...we have (and I HAVE) never seen this one way sign...and that's just what they do sometimes, they take the sign down, or they put it in one hidden corner so no one sees it but then they stop and fine people! This is the reason that its smart to keep your doors locked so that they can't jump in your vehicle and you can sometimes dodge them...especially if they aren't carrying a board with nails used to stop you from driving off...b/c if you try they throw it in front of your tires...and this guy didn't have anything! So he starts taking us (leading me driver with directions) to the office where we are to collect our fine and pay...and I am trying to talk to him telling him that he should please cover his eyes and pretend that he didn't see us drive that way (meanwhile as we are driving he now directs us down a one way...and we again are breaking the "law"...so really in my mind I am thinking...so but THIS is OK!?" And I am asking what it is he wants...saying let me dash him some money etc. So we are arguing and we stop the bus b/c I am determined to get off of this ridiculous fine...and so he calls his boss who then comes on an okada and so since this guy in our bus has stopped listening to me and ignoring me as I argue...I jump out of the bus and begin to talk to his boss...So I am sure that people were amused to see this "oyibo" (white) little female arguing in the street with a lasman official...!

So we get to the office and while our fine is being written up and the keys snatched from my driver I am arguing with the Lasmanofficial and asking him how much money he wants from us and try to only dash N500 (around $5)..but alas...he pretends that in Nigeria there is no such thing as ignorance to offenses and I sort of laugh...

So in the end we were detained and we were supposed to pay a fine of N10,000 ($100) we were able to bribe them to let us pay N2000 ($20)...

So next time these officials see me...and I see them...I'm going to be prepared!

Ife

So after the drama of getting fuel the night before, we were off to Ife in Ogun state. (2 states out of Lagos). Juyins dad is from the town of Ife and it is formally known as Ile Ife "home of Ife" and it is said ILL A...EEE FAY. (I am learning a lot on how to pronounce words properly here!) So we headed out at around 10:30-11 on Sunday morning and headed to Ife. The drive was fine and we went through Ibadan (which is not a very pretty town and very old and rusty and red) and experienced highway driving in Nigeria...which means you can go from 120 km/h to 10 km/h due to large potholes in the road that must be avoided or gone over slowly. But since everyone is used to it, it doesn't seem to be a problem with traffic at least. 

We arrived in Ife to Juyins fathers place. It is like a second home since he comes to Ife often. He runs a catfish farm and breeds catfish to sell, as catfish is a common food that is eaten in Nigeria in these parts. The trip was very lovely as we were able to spend a few days there to relax just before Term 3 resumed for Juyin and myself at school. 

In Ife, we had the chance to go around and learn a lot of the history and see where Juyin's grandfather and great grandfather lived and grew up. In Ife there is also a King....know as the ONI. We were able to go to the palace and learn a little history of the past kings and other historical legends and stories. Juyins father is a Soko of Ife...

meaning he is a chief of Ife and he is recognized everywhere and is constantly dashing people money as it is part of the culture to "tip" people just for being them if you are a chief. 

It was really just a lovely time and after a few days, we were off again to Lagos. We hope to go back to Ife soon to see the harvest of the catfish in a few weeks. Until then, its city life for me!

Fuel search

A while ago I headed out on a Saturday morning to Juyin's place. Since I live in Ikeja and she lives in Surelere (these are areas) I had to take a cab. I had forgotten that in her area on Saturdays it is incredibly busy and traffic is terrible due to the amount of events or weddings that go on in that area. But of course after an hour in traffic I made it. We didn't do much that day in fact...but we seemed to get some vital things accomplished. Juyin handed her keys over to me and I took on the task of driving from Surelere to my area, Ikeja. Our first task was to stop at one little grocery store close to her house and buy some food. Once that was accomplished we were on our way. But as we drove we noticed that there were long queues at the fuel stations (apparently 2 fuel tank drivers were arrested by road safety or something probably b/c they didn't have their papers complete and the since all fuel tankers are part of a ____ they all decided to strike refusing to bring fuel into Lagos until the two drivers were released.)So seeing this, we decided we had better get fuel...just in case...and especially for us as we were heading to Ife for the next few days. (Ife is 2 1/2 hours away in another state, Juyin's dads home town). So we would stop at some queues and then leave them as we decided to keep driving to other stations that we felt would be less crowded. As we headed to one station near my house, Juyin wanted to fill the right tire of her car up and so what you do here in Nigeria is look on the side of the road for a tire that says "vulcanizer" and that is where you can change your tire, pump it up...fix it, you name it. So since traffic was quick busy I had to inch over to the side of the road, but i had to also back up. As I backed up there were okada's coming (those are motorbike taxis). As I was backing up slowly, they are supposed to dodge me and since I was moving very slowly it shouldn't have been any problem at all. As okada's passed me I suddenly jumped with fright as it sounded as if I had hit someone and almost had a heart attack, so as I turned my head to look at the front of my car where the noise came from, I noticed that a passenger on an okada purposely hit our car with his fist in anger and was yelling at me. Guess he wasn't too happy that I was backing up making all the okada's dodge me on the side of the road. We just laughed, and I was just happy that I hadn't killed anyone or injured anyone! 

Juyin rolled down her window and called "vulcanizer!" then waited....no one came so she called again, "vulcanizer" and still no one. Finally she called "fuckanizer" and the guy came. While our tire was being filled she explained to me that most of the time people don't know its vulcanizer and call it "fuckanizer" and will only respond to that name. Again, we had a little laugh!

Once we were finished I begged my way back into nose to nose traffic and then eased into a queue for fuel. Not even a minute later we had a man at Juyins window telling us we were blocking the gate to a compound and a man in his car began to come out of the gate. The gate man proceeded to tell us to move...MOVE? move where? i was literally maybe an inch away from a bus infront of me and behind me a car was maybe 4 inches back. Even if i wanted to get out, i couldn't...so how was it that he wanted ME...to move the car to let this other man out?! We just ignored the gate man and his foolish ideas and since we were more or less over half way past the driveway of the gate, it only made sense to move forward again once the queue moved. So of course, that is what I did...but the car behind me only moved as I did and left no gap for the car in the driveway to come out. Now, you would think that the gate man would go and talk to this car...but nope...he was now yelling at me! Meanwhile, Juyin seemed to see that the station looked as if they were closing and jumped out with a jerry can as well as argued with the gate man and walked off to the fuel station. While Juyin was gone, Lara and I sat in the car and the gate man just pointed at us and yelled "Oyibo...now you dey cause am!" basically saying that I caused all this drama with the car trying to get out. I just looked at him and shrugged and Lara and I laughed. I pointed to the car behind me, as to us...it was really them who they should be scolding for continuing to move forward and not us. So as the gate man was fuming at us, the queue moved and I successfully moved from blocking the driveway...but the hilarious part of the story is this. While the gate man continued to fume as I drove out of the way, the car behind me also moved right up behind me and again the driveway was completely blocked. It wasn't until the owner of the car got out to yell at this car behind me that the gate man realized that perhaps he should have been talking to this other car instead of me. It was just too funny!

So as we waited in the queue and Juyin waited for fuel with her jerry can, It began to pour. Juyin ran back soaked but had left the jerry can with someone to watch until it was our turn. Finally after say waiting in queue for about almost 2 hours, it was our turn. Seeing as it was dark, no one really saw me at first. But soon there was this one area boy noticed me. (area boys are boys/young men who think they own the rights to certain things in areas and hold certain power and make people pay them sometimes...long explanation for another time). So since he wanted money from us...he was telling the fuel manager who was filling all the cars and jerry cans that "in this car here was a Romanian and he should help us first" (this was all said in Yoruba and Lara translated for me. We laughed and just ignored the guy. He also said that since Juyin was with us, we should go first. We again just laughed and ignored him. He kept going until one vehicle now bribed the station attendants to let them in the exit and to jump in right behind us to by bass the whole queue came around...he was then onto bigger and better fish I guess.

Finally after being in the car for about 3 hours, we arrived at my place and relaxed and ate some food so that Juyin and Lara could wait out some of the traffic going back to Surelere. 

So the point of the story here is...be thankful that if you have many plans for a day and you get them all accomplished, because here in Lagos, due to fuel strikes, rain, or traffic...you never know what you will get done in a day and what will have to just wait for another day! But as I always say..."life in Nigeria is FAR from boring!"