Being Detained...

Well its official...I am now a hardcore Lagos chic....for I was detained by lasman (they are road safety officials who really can cheat the law and rules but still fine or detain you!...NAIJA!) 

So the stories goes like this....I was on my way to KETU (the other branch of the ABBEY SCHOOLS that I teach at and was being driven by one of the bus drivers from the GRA branch (confused yet?) Anyway, we followed the way we usually do and suddenly the bus stopped and a man (not dressed in any lasman uniform) is standing in front of the bus. The bus driver steps out (for all you Nigerians..you all know this is a bad move) and didn't lock the doors behind him. So then the man comes and jumps in the from seat of the bus (as I always sit in the back) and then my driver jumps in and I can tell that they are arguing...but in Yoruba, so of course I can't understand. So I jump in the conversation since I start to feel annoyed and pissed b/c I am thinking its some area boy or something...and say "excuse me...can you tell me what is going on here?" So he tells me that we went down a one way and we have to pay a fine and has to take us in to pay it. 

Now, since we have followed this road every time we come to KETU...we have (and I HAVE) never seen this one way sign...and that's just what they do sometimes, they take the sign down, or they put it in one hidden corner so no one sees it but then they stop and fine people! This is the reason that its smart to keep your doors locked so that they can't jump in your vehicle and you can sometimes dodge them...especially if they aren't carrying a board with nails used to stop you from driving off...b/c if you try they throw it in front of your tires...and this guy didn't have anything! So he starts taking us (leading me driver with directions) to the office where we are to collect our fine and pay...and I am trying to talk to him telling him that he should please cover his eyes and pretend that he didn't see us drive that way (meanwhile as we are driving he now directs us down a one way...and we again are breaking the "law"...so really in my mind I am thinking...so but THIS is OK!?" And I am asking what it is he wants...saying let me dash him some money etc. So we are arguing and we stop the bus b/c I am determined to get off of this ridiculous fine...and so he calls his boss who then comes on an okada and so since this guy in our bus has stopped listening to me and ignoring me as I argue...I jump out of the bus and begin to talk to his boss...So I am sure that people were amused to see this "oyibo" (white) little female arguing in the street with a lasman official...!

So we get to the office and while our fine is being written up and the keys snatched from my driver I am arguing with the Lasmanofficial and asking him how much money he wants from us and try to only dash N500 (around $5)..but alas...he pretends that in Nigeria there is no such thing as ignorance to offenses and I sort of laugh...

So in the end we were detained and we were supposed to pay a fine of N10,000 ($100) we were able to bribe them to let us pay N2000 ($20)...

So next time these officials see me...and I see them...I'm going to be prepared!

Ife

So after the drama of getting fuel the night before, we were off to Ife in Ogun state. (2 states out of Lagos). Juyins dad is from the town of Ife and it is formally known as Ile Ife "home of Ife" and it is said ILL A...EEE FAY. (I am learning a lot on how to pronounce words properly here!) So we headed out at around 10:30-11 on Sunday morning and headed to Ife. The drive was fine and we went through Ibadan (which is not a very pretty town and very old and rusty and red) and experienced highway driving in Nigeria...which means you can go from 120 km/h to 10 km/h due to large potholes in the road that must be avoided or gone over slowly. But since everyone is used to it, it doesn't seem to be a problem with traffic at least. 

We arrived in Ife to Juyins fathers place. It is like a second home since he comes to Ife often. He runs a catfish farm and breeds catfish to sell, as catfish is a common food that is eaten in Nigeria in these parts. The trip was very lovely as we were able to spend a few days there to relax just before Term 3 resumed for Juyin and myself at school. 

In Ife, we had the chance to go around and learn a lot of the history and see where Juyin's grandfather and great grandfather lived and grew up. In Ife there is also a King....know as the ONI. We were able to go to the palace and learn a little history of the past kings and other historical legends and stories. Juyins father is a Soko of Ife...

meaning he is a chief of Ife and he is recognized everywhere and is constantly dashing people money as it is part of the culture to "tip" people just for being them if you are a chief. 

It was really just a lovely time and after a few days, we were off again to Lagos. We hope to go back to Ife soon to see the harvest of the catfish in a few weeks. Until then, its city life for me!

Fuel search

A while ago I headed out on a Saturday morning to Juyin's place. Since I live in Ikeja and she lives in Surelere (these are areas) I had to take a cab. I had forgotten that in her area on Saturdays it is incredibly busy and traffic is terrible due to the amount of events or weddings that go on in that area. But of course after an hour in traffic I made it. We didn't do much that day in fact...but we seemed to get some vital things accomplished. Juyin handed her keys over to me and I took on the task of driving from Surelere to my area, Ikeja. Our first task was to stop at one little grocery store close to her house and buy some food. Once that was accomplished we were on our way. But as we drove we noticed that there were long queues at the fuel stations (apparently 2 fuel tank drivers were arrested by road safety or something probably b/c they didn't have their papers complete and the since all fuel tankers are part of a ____ they all decided to strike refusing to bring fuel into Lagos until the two drivers were released.)So seeing this, we decided we had better get fuel...just in case...and especially for us as we were heading to Ife for the next few days. (Ife is 2 1/2 hours away in another state, Juyin's dads home town). So we would stop at some queues and then leave them as we decided to keep driving to other stations that we felt would be less crowded. As we headed to one station near my house, Juyin wanted to fill the right tire of her car up and so what you do here in Nigeria is look on the side of the road for a tire that says "vulcanizer" and that is where you can change your tire, pump it up...fix it, you name it. So since traffic was quick busy I had to inch over to the side of the road, but i had to also back up. As I backed up there were okada's coming (those are motorbike taxis). As I was backing up slowly, they are supposed to dodge me and since I was moving very slowly it shouldn't have been any problem at all. As okada's passed me I suddenly jumped with fright as it sounded as if I had hit someone and almost had a heart attack, so as I turned my head to look at the front of my car where the noise came from, I noticed that a passenger on an okada purposely hit our car with his fist in anger and was yelling at me. Guess he wasn't too happy that I was backing up making all the okada's dodge me on the side of the road. We just laughed, and I was just happy that I hadn't killed anyone or injured anyone! 

Juyin rolled down her window and called "vulcanizer!" then waited....no one came so she called again, "vulcanizer" and still no one. Finally she called "fuckanizer" and the guy came. While our tire was being filled she explained to me that most of the time people don't know its vulcanizer and call it "fuckanizer" and will only respond to that name. Again, we had a little laugh!

Once we were finished I begged my way back into nose to nose traffic and then eased into a queue for fuel. Not even a minute later we had a man at Juyins window telling us we were blocking the gate to a compound and a man in his car began to come out of the gate. The gate man proceeded to tell us to move...MOVE? move where? i was literally maybe an inch away from a bus infront of me and behind me a car was maybe 4 inches back. Even if i wanted to get out, i couldn't...so how was it that he wanted ME...to move the car to let this other man out?! We just ignored the gate man and his foolish ideas and since we were more or less over half way past the driveway of the gate, it only made sense to move forward again once the queue moved. So of course, that is what I did...but the car behind me only moved as I did and left no gap for the car in the driveway to come out. Now, you would think that the gate man would go and talk to this car...but nope...he was now yelling at me! Meanwhile, Juyin seemed to see that the station looked as if they were closing and jumped out with a jerry can as well as argued with the gate man and walked off to the fuel station. While Juyin was gone, Lara and I sat in the car and the gate man just pointed at us and yelled "Oyibo...now you dey cause am!" basically saying that I caused all this drama with the car trying to get out. I just looked at him and shrugged and Lara and I laughed. I pointed to the car behind me, as to us...it was really them who they should be scolding for continuing to move forward and not us. So as the gate man was fuming at us, the queue moved and I successfully moved from blocking the driveway...but the hilarious part of the story is this. While the gate man continued to fume as I drove out of the way, the car behind me also moved right up behind me and again the driveway was completely blocked. It wasn't until the owner of the car got out to yell at this car behind me that the gate man realized that perhaps he should have been talking to this other car instead of me. It was just too funny!

So as we waited in the queue and Juyin waited for fuel with her jerry can, It began to pour. Juyin ran back soaked but had left the jerry can with someone to watch until it was our turn. Finally after say waiting in queue for about almost 2 hours, it was our turn. Seeing as it was dark, no one really saw me at first. But soon there was this one area boy noticed me. (area boys are boys/young men who think they own the rights to certain things in areas and hold certain power and make people pay them sometimes...long explanation for another time). So since he wanted money from us...he was telling the fuel manager who was filling all the cars and jerry cans that "in this car here was a Romanian and he should help us first" (this was all said in Yoruba and Lara translated for me. We laughed and just ignored the guy. He also said that since Juyin was with us, we should go first. We again just laughed and ignored him. He kept going until one vehicle now bribed the station attendants to let them in the exit and to jump in right behind us to by bass the whole queue came around...he was then onto bigger and better fish I guess.

Finally after being in the car for about 3 hours, we arrived at my place and relaxed and ate some food so that Juyin and Lara could wait out some of the traffic going back to Surelere. 

So the point of the story here is...be thankful that if you have many plans for a day and you get them all accomplished, because here in Lagos, due to fuel strikes, rain, or traffic...you never know what you will get done in a day and what will have to just wait for another day! But as I always say..."life in Nigeria is FAR from boring!"

A day with Koyinsola...

Many of you are pondering "who the heck is Koyinsola and what does this have to do with Rachel?" Well since I have moved to Nigeria my friend and boss Juyin decided that I was already such a Nigerian in so many ways that I needed a Nigerian name. Just like many Nigerians use English names for us white folk who can't pronounce their names, I too am adopting that idea, except for everyone here CAN easily say my name. Nigerian names are quite unique and a lot of them are very lovely. Many even have names that represent the day they were born or if they are a twin etc. I went through many names, but I was the one who came up with Koyinsola...the way it is said is so lovely. First it was Rashida (my crazy friend Taiye decided this one...but no one liked it) then it was Bumi...but then I heard the name Koyinsola and that was it. So now that I am officially a temporary resident of Nigeria (yes I have the paperwork to prove it!) I am living a daily Nigerian life with of course my Western influences that I just can't shake. So here it is...a typical day.

In the morning I wake up at around 6am. If I wake up and I feel hot, it is because NEPA took light sometime during the night and I don't like to put my generator on throughout the night (here is my cheap dutch side coming out...I would rather be a little more hot than to waste my diesel!) Ok...so lets say there IS NEPA...because usually there is until right before I leave for work. I go to my shower and begin to fill a large bucket (which looks more like a giant bowl) with a mixture of hot and cold water (I am lucky to have a water heater...because no matter how hot you feel, taking a cold shower in the morning is alarming and an easy way to fall sick!) I do have a shower head, but since the water pressure is very low, it just makes sense to take a bucket bath/shower. It also save water! 

After my shower I get ready. If there is no light, I am already wet with sweat and it seems impossible to put make up on like this. My hair tends to have a mind of its own here and its super curly because of the humidity. So I am learning to cope! I wander then to the kitchen and grab a bowl of cereal. I usually have fresh bananas which I buy from a lady named Fatima. I first put a few scoops of powdered milk into my bowl, add some cubes of sugar, a banana and some water. Then I add my cornflakes. I don't even really eat Kellogg's because to buy the name brand imported cereals can cost up to $13 a box! I prefer to eat the no name and save! (So anyone planning on visiting...I like Golden Grahams a lot!) I sometimes make tea as well, depending on the time. 

For now, since I don't yet have my car, I get picked up by Yemisi's driver. (Yemisi is Juyins sister) and we then swing by to pick up Yemisi's kids and we are off to school. Depending on the day or time...no wait, what am I saying...nothing to do with traffic is to be predicted here. So we sometimes enter heavy traffic, and sometimes we don't. Yemisi's driver Chimeze grew up in Lagos so he is showing me all the short cuts to school from my place. I think I can remember 3 but I am sure there are more! 

Once at school, most of the students are already there in their classrooms. Depending of traffic elsewhere, some teachers will come late as well as students or the buses. A student rings a bell at 8am and we all head to the activity room. Here we spend time singing, learning a lesson, reciting the national pledge and anthem of Nigeria and then end with a marching song where the students head to their classrooms. 

While the kids are heading off, the teachers all gather and we have a brief morning prayer and relay any announcements to each other about the day. I then head off to do some work. I sometimes just wander around the school and observe what is happening in certain classrooms. Sometimes I go in and watch students who are unattended. This happens often and Juyin has really been trying to enforce that the teachers MUST not ever leave their kids alone especially the younger ones! For the most part, Nigerian children seem to have an earlier understanding of staying put and not getting into something they shouldn't...especially the young kids. Sometimes they seem older than they really are! Of course though, there are always times when they WILL misbehave, after all, they are kids!

Somehow I don't always know where the day goes, but it flies by. Sometimes I am sitting in Juyins office talking about ways to make improvements and how to get the teachers to change their methods of teaching. We can somehow talk for hours on this topic and come up with so many ideas. It sometimes is hard to remember to practice patience as we know that the changes will only occur slowly and we have to try to stay positive and not get disheartened or frustrated. For the most part, since I am new to the system, I don't get frustrated, but I can tell that Juyin has tried very hard not to become frustrated but sometimes it is difficult. I haven't yet started teaching art, but I have worked on the art room and the curriculum as well as lessons. I also am always working on ideas for and planning the next teacher workshop. I lead these and use them to allow the teachers to have a basic hands on way to see various methods of teaching and how to incorporate these into their classrooms and lessons. Its not easy...

I seem to be the favourite attraction to many of the kids and it took a while but now they are used to me. Especially the youngest kids, they are always coming to shake my hand or hug me if they see me and say "Miss Weening...Miss Weening!" The older ones seem to be fascinated with me, especially the girls as they like to touch my hair and want to always be near me. The boys are slowly coming around but I think they are still shy. I do spend time playing with them during the break or at least try to watch them play. I still have so many names to remember...but I am coming along. Even the teachers names are difficult for me to remember. 

After the kids leave, there are still kids that stay around for lesson (or tutoring) and some just stay in the activity room until there parents come. They are allowed to stay because most parents both work and due to traffic, it is difficult to come before 4. I usually then leave again with Yemisi's kids and driver and head home. I tend to get home at all different times. Sometimes it is 5:30. Sometimes it is 7:30. I then either chill, wander out of the Estate and carefully make my way across the street to get some small groceries. Usually at this time I am walking in between cars that are in traffic and dodging okadas. (motorbike taxis) But don't worry, I am always more cautious than not!  I then cook some food for myself. I have a gas stove and am getting used to lighting it without getting nervous...haha! I am very picky about having my kitchen clean because I have sworn NEVER to live with rats again in Nigeria as well as Cockroaches. I do admit that there are tiny tiny ants that sometimes appear if there is a tiny crumb or something, but they are easy enough to get rid of. I am always doing my dishes pronto due to this and any guests who come over just have to wait while I do all the dishes because I won't have bugs! 

After I eat, I tend to take a bucket shower because i feel so sweaty and gross from the day of being in the heat. I luckily have an air conditioning unit in my room, so it can cool the house down a lot! Everyone who comes over tends to hang out in my room on my bed due to the air conditioning. Most people who have come to my place find it hard to leave because it is so relaxing. They don't have all these people around to deal with and they say it feels so homey. I am glad for that and love it when people come to visit me.

After this I tend to do some reading of work and then answer some texts or phone calls...then I usually just find myself slipping off into a deep sleep. It is so easy to fall asleep here, whether there is generator noise outside or not...the heat tends to somehow do that to you.

So that is a typical day. Sometimes it differs, but for the most part I just go with the day as it takes me because you can never predict how anything will go here. So maybe one day, if someone comes to visit, I can take you thru a day so you can truly see how I live. 

Ekaro...

that means good morning in one of the major Nigerian languages...Yoruba. Now that I am in the South, the major tribe background here in Lagos is the Yoruba tribe. When I was in the North around Jos and Abuja, it was Hausa. But now that most of the people around me speak Yoruba, I have decided that I too want to learn this language and am slowly learning a few words and phrases here and there. I know it will still take a while but if a lot of the people around me are constantly Engluba or Yorubish (a combo of English and Yoruba) then I might as well learn. It is a very interesting language...as are most Nigerian tribal languages...but Yoruba combines some difficult letters together such as KP or GB...and some others...(I think) and with the GB sound it is like you have to stick your tongue to the roof of your mouth while you also stick your lips together and then open both quickly moving your tongue down and back to make want sort of sounds like a BA sound...but you can actually here the G in front of that BA sound. Anyone confused yet?! Well I am learning slowly to reshape my tongue and mouth as I learn. There is also often a silent H in many words so spelling sometimes is not always easy. For example the name SOLA is actually pronounced SHOLA. Guess each language has its secrets! When told from Juyin, my good friend and Boss, to be able to distinguish the differences between each of the 3 main Nigerian Tribal languages, its all in the tone. Yoruba, she explained was a low and deep throaty language. Hausa was sing songy and lovely and Ibo was just really fast. I hope I remembered that correctly! So for all of you out there...there you have it, your first introduction to some of Nigeria's languages. 

Speaking of languages, Pidgin English is also a main language. Though it isn't seen as an official language, everyone knows how to speak it...it is a must especially when relating to people in the market or on the road for most of the time they may not speak actual English or your own tribal language, so to meet in the middle, Pidgin English (also known as Broken English is spoken. This is one language that for a time now I have been able to understand...but really can't speak it. Some of my friends just laugh when I try because I add too many extra things to my sentences mixing everything up, its quite funny to them I suppose. I have to actually use Broken when talking to my gate man. He is actually Hausa and since I only know a few words and phrases, we use broken. Its quite funny because he will call me when there is NEPA (this is the power or electricity) so that he can shut my generator off and so that I can switch my power box to NEPA. I will take a picture to show you what I mean by this. So when my gate man Douda calls, he simply states "Na NEPA" meaning, there's light or NEPA. sometimes I call to tell him to "OFF AM" which means "shut it off" (my generator that is). Sometimes I say "I dey gate" which means "I'm at the gate" These are the simple phrases and there are much more complicated ones...but as I said, I can only understand them and not speak these or write them properly....maybe one day.

Talking about a gate man I am sure is very strange to many of you...well its a common thing here if you live in a compound (which I do) and there are also guards or gate men at my Estate gate. This is generally more for at night to monitor who is coming in. It is nice to have a gate man....any little errands that you need help with or something, you can just ask them to do it for you. I try not to do this that often, but if I run out of phone credit, and have not yet taken my bath, I admit that I don't want to wander down the road looking all scrubby to buy credit...but hey, all Nigerians are JUST as guilty! :-) Its also nice because I barely have to turn my generator off and on. The main reason for this is because I would have to take 3 sets or stairs down to my door, walk to my neighbours and turn my gen off or on. Douda (my gate man) is only about 20 feet away. So really people, I am not truly that lazy...but when light can come any time of the day or night...its just more convenient! 

I am not in fact at all lazy. Yesterday I was awake at 4am and since there was light, I decided to wash my dirty clothes, the kitchen clothes and towels and my bedding. I have a little portable washer and though the thing is only about 3 feet high and 2 feet wide....it works wonders. So just when all of you thought I would be washing my clothes all by hand or paying someone to wash them (which is the norm here) I am actually doing it myself and yes, there are still items that I wash by hand. I also take a lot of pride in my place and each week do a thorough cleaning. This consists of using a broom that is kind of made of reeds or sticks wrapped tightly at one end to sweep my whole house...including sweeping the carpet. I even attempted to mop my front stairwell...but I think I have to get a special broom for that one. After I sweep, I mop. Then I do the kitchen and bathrooms. It is quite tedious because I find that I mop at least twice since the dust from the air gets everywhere and is always tracked in by my feet as well as my guests. But for the most part, I enjoy the cleaning. 

I am really beginning to feel completely comfortable and confident here. I live near a little corner store type thing and bakery. I also buy my bananas and veggies from a local roadside store...Fatima is the name of the lady who sells to me and each time I buy from her, she is really inquisitive about Canada and what its like there. She is a lovely lady. I am completely used to the stares from people and now even laugh at some people especially when they might trip or run into something because there are staring at me. One night a car coming into my estate gate as my friend Lara and I were waiting for someone, was so busy staring that they drove into some tires in the middle of the road to divide lanes. We got a kick out of it!

I am still pretty independent here. I can go places alone and I even have started to drive a bit. My car is not yet ready for me...but one day as I started Juyins car (my boss) she suddenly looked at me and said "ok you are driving!" and that was it. I drove from the school to my place. Since then I have driven 2 more times. The last time was quite funny. Juyin sat in the back with her baby and I drove. Here many people have drivers and the passengers always sit in the back if that's the case. So you can imagine the stares! We were laughing because we knew people were confused and thinking "what is this? Does she have an Oyibo driver?" (Oyibo=white) So now I will just get my international license which allows me to drive here without police hassle. Anyone can get their license and not test is needed. Funny right?! 

Well I think I should leave now before I turn a simple blog entry into a novel. There is just so much to say, but I don't want to bore anyone. So till next time.

Partying Naija Style

ok now many of you are probably thinking that i went out one night to a club or a big Nigerian party for some adult or something abi? (abi means right? or you get?) well you are all wrong. I went to a party alright and it was probably one of the biggest parties i have ever been to. I would say there were around 400-500 people there kids included. There was a variety of small chops (finger food...small food to much first) and all kinds of drinks as well. It started out with a cold bottle of water and a cold mineral (pop) then they brought champagne to our table...then after a while some other funky fruit drinks like Chapman and some sort of make shift pina colada....and finally Baileys. There was never a empty bottle for long b/c as soon as we would finish one...the waiter would bring another one. our table alone went thru 7 bottles of N10,000 (close to $100 champagne!) we had a menu to pick from consisting of Nigerian dishes as well as Oriental dishes and you could request to mix any and everything. They also had a variety of desserts including my favourite cheesecake. Now...lets see, the atmosphere. Tables were under tents as to keep some of the sun and heat out. It was on the island (Lekki to be exact) right off of the water...oh and they had all these areas like a little flat roller coaster ride, a giant bouncy slide, a bouncy samurai castle type thing, a stand with hot dogs, cotton candy, popcorn etc...Now you are wondering why abi? well it was in fact a birthday party for 2 twins for their first birthday. Yes...this extravagant event was for 2 toddlers who are just learning to walk. I guess this is a common thing in Nigeria to throw big parties for their kids on their first birthday. Now to be fair...this one was really something b/c the people throwing it are bloody rich...but still many people who have a little money do this...wow...its all i can say...is wow. i think we all know really who the parties are for...haha haha but i had a blast anyway!

Frank

I killed Frank.
Frank was an uninvited guest. I had seen others like him but the sight of him and others like him frightened me so much that I would run away in fear. So late last night I got up from my sleep and wandered to the kitchen and was startled when I saw Frank just there in the middle of the room. My first instinct was to run, call for help...do something...but after a short flea to the hallway, I now decided that this was my place and I wasn't going to let this guy do this to me...it was time that I dealt with him, and others like him before they start taking control of me. I grabbed a weapon, a Nigerian broom, and waited around the corner for him to emerge as if to look for me and capture me. He came around the corner and WHAM...I hit him, then I hit him again and again and again until his body went limp! I had done it...I had really killed Frank and it felt wonderful. All I had to do now was to get rid of his body and the mess. I scooped him up and poured him in the trash and as I stood over him with his brown crunchy body and with his creepy legs I felt a sense of pride. I had stood up to my fear and dealt with Frank....so to all you dirty cockroaches out there, let this be a lesson to you...I still hate you and you give me the creeps...but I am not scared to come closer to you and end your life...so if you want to live...STAY AWAY from me!!!!!